trying and failing to be something that i'm not

I try so desperately to convince myself that I'm not like all the other girls, that I don't really want a husband and babies, that those things aren't in the cards for me, but every once in a while something comes along that just stabs at my heart. Today it is a picture of a cowboy holding a baby. the hat obscures his face so if and when i sleep today i can almost guarantee that he will visit my dreams.